My emotions are a seething, broiling maelstrom, wild winds thrashing and whipping everything that comes in their way.  They are hard to evoke but once they raise their heads they are equally impossible to contain no matter what I do. How I envy the calm, the patient, the controlled, individuals I thought dead, flat as an ECG line and derided now seem the epitome to which I aspire. Life maybe turbulence but, that is no fun. Not for the person standing right in the middle of the hurricane.

Once something or someone becomes important I just cant seem to let it go, time was when I could consign all to oblivion and sleep, read, anything without the slightest effort. When did that change? When did people become so important? How did they become so important? Doesn’t take a genius to figure why I desperately seek work, its to fill the void left by so many, some taken away by death, others pushed away, still others who chose to walk away, the only  commonality is they all left leaving a gap which is gaping at the edges growing larger by the second. Ironic really considering when I didn’t  care about people they pursued me, now when I do, I seem to be the one running around after them irrespective of how it started, I do know how it ends, always, without fail. So what do you do ?