At times I wish I actually see the sense behind becoming a housewife even if its at the cost of a career, I think most of us do and yet time seems to be having a sadistic chortle at our expanse by the time we come to this realization. Too  often I encounter hardcore career women who did not get married at 18, progressed in their chosen profession and now when they are in their early 30s want to settle down, only to find guys their age or slightly older either married with kids or In search of nubile 18 year olds.

I wonder who you blame here, the women for not having the sense to tie the knot in their teens or the men for preferring the teens? And what do you do about it, if anything?

“Women were brought up to believe that men were the answer. They weren't. They weren't even one of the questions. ”

― Julian Barnes, A History of the World in 10½ Chapters

No one likes a cynic but few realize that feeling is voiced with utmost intensity by the cynic themselves. No one likes giving up on dreams be they of princes or success but life forces you to sometimes. As I look at her I realize her cynicism (how I hate the word) stems from betrayal at an age, which she doesn’t remember herself. I see her bemused at life questioning why she is so indifferent (or thinks herself to be so) to so many, if not all people around her. I see her grappling with why she doesn’t connect with family/friends or anyone for that matter and I wince, wince at the reality shrouded in time.

Where do you go when you have been treated like a princess only to realize one day that you are NOT the only one as you have been led to believe by none other then your father, the man other men are supposed to measure up to later in life? Who do you trust when the one man who made the earth go round, the sun rise and more, the one man you believed in to the exclusion of all else since you opened your eyes is also the one man who betrays you to the extent that you stop believing altogether.

So I look, I wince, and I watch…. For that’s all I can do.

Sometimes the messenger is more important then the news, make that the messenger coming up to expectations when so many have failed Is way more noteworthy then the content of the news itself. I expected Z to stand up for me if not personally then at least professionally and while ultimately the person who did end up doing so was both senior and in a way better able to fight my case to some extent the disappointment on a personal way does not exactly out weigh, but tamper the joy of the news.

It shall probably be goodbye Hanyu and bonjour now. How do I feel? And the answer is a very ‘I don’t know’ at the moment…..

I know I crib about people, a lot, and even THAT is probably an understatement but honestly is it my fault I come across crackpots, assuming the law of majority is not faulty and I am NOT one myself. Take the recent incident for example, where I encountered a senior colleague who is a friend (not a close one but one with whom I have had coffee, whose family I know and who has dropped in at my place not to mention whom I sms and tease a lot!)  having coffee while I was with other office friends (all of whom he knew too!) and he passed by with a barely muttered hello!

On the inevitable queries from me later, he initially told me I was with people he had no desire to interact with, then went on from there to calling me too ‘sensitive’ to such breaches to being shy or reserved as reason for what I regarded as ‘stiff’ if not downright ‘weird’

My pointing out the rapidity with which his reasoning to explain what I regard as an absurd situation was met with silence which makes me wonder, wonder if not greeting someone you know is limited to bosom buddies and family. Last I knew the world was way simpler were a simple hello to people you knew was a basic courtesy with no 2 whys about it. It is the total shrugging-off-as-trivial attitude to stuff which is the MOST BASIC norm of social interaction that I know which makes me question if I am the alien here or him, more accurately them (most people in my perverse world seem to side with him I guess!)  for one of us is definitely from some other planet if not galaxy!

I understand people have problems, problems they are ill-equipped to deal with at times, problems which surmount their forbearance making them ill-tempered and mean. I empathise with such people,  I wish them the best but what I cannot and shall not condone is them taking out their bitchiness and meanness on all and sundry especially when the latter includes me. I do not condone your shrieks, your incessant queries about why I am sitting in a particular room you erroneously regard as yours or with people you believe you have a claim on and while I hope you recover from whatever it is that is turning you into the bitch you have become I simply can not let that be justification enough for the way you behave, rather misbehave!!!! Hell with the witches and may the broomstick crash sooner then later!

I consider it the highest form of insult to self and others to associate and socialize with those I hold in contempt behind their backs which is precisely why I don’t understand the reason so many do so.