The worst thing is not not having something you desire but to lose it by an inch and that trust me is very different from missing by a mile. The what if and the could-have-been of life suck. They wound with a ferocity and intensity which takes your breath away leaving you gasping with sobs. You can learn resignation, if not acceptance, if you can convince yourself that your dreams are just dreams, but to have the dream be shown in a tangible form, to have it come within grasp and then leave, that, that is torture and it’s a sick sick sick twist of fate/divinity which allows that.