Wednesday, April 18, 2012

New phases in life are accompanied by excitement or so I see everywhere making me think that’s the normal response. People going for language or for posting are looking forward to financial benefits, career progression or if nothing else exploring a new place and yet I feel nothing but blankness bordering on desperation as I think about how yet again it’s such a blasted near miss from working with a person I like. Coming to that, its amusing, perversely so how I have gone from being completely indifferent and blasé about people to very people-centric. I recall clearly how till college I was least bothered by all and sundry as happy in company as without. Short attention span/fickleness whatever you call it was one extreme and now perversely just when I can least afford it I seem to have shifted to the other side.

The main culprit I hold responsible for the resultant dumps and more dumps is boredom, too much time without anything, repeat anything at all to engage the molding grey cells or what is left of them. No wonder I crave a career which leaves me time for nothing but exhausted slumber. Its way better to have others wait then be on the waiting end and yet I see no chance of that happening. I am so so so sick of the endless whining I seem to be infinitely capable of and yet I don’t see what the alternative is. Yet another useless, futile post coming up!

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