Case A

My friend asked what I thought about k, a guy I know slightly. My opinion was neutral and admittedly superficial, couldn’t be anything else considering I barely know k. inquiring into the motive behind my opinion I was stunned to find she was eyeing him as a potential match…for ME! What added fuel to the already raging fire was the mastermind behind the whole plan, S! s is this girl I have the misfortune to be slightly aquainted with. Her husband A and I were friends, were as in the past where I am concerned. I ended the friendship because of many reasons chief being S’s insecurity and unreasonable suspicions about him being non platonically interested in me. He may have been more interested or not, I don’t know, don’t care but I definitely didn’t reciprocate the feelings and since I had no desire to get dragged into a messy threesome where the wife was too insecure (despite it being a lurv match!) and the guy too nice/meek to balance friendship and spouse I ended it or so I thought only to know S has yet to conquer her devils. Apparently she wont rest easy till she has me married off!

Lesson: people will never leave you alone or let you be if they feel threatened even if you quit and end all interaction. Your simple existence is apparently license enough for them to play havoc with your life. What sucks was the said friend dumping her common sense and loyalty and actually believing that S was just being nice! Were there no bad blood involved from her side I would believe that but given the past, NO!

Case B:

A is a very close friend with a husband she married for love. The husband transited to being the typical Pakistani spouse while A unfortunately still thinks of herself as friend/lover and not the Pakistani version of ‘biwi’ . the result is messy confrontations, heated one sided quarrels and more. Things I am privy to unfortunately because she is a close friend and my ear and shoulder are at her disposal. The husband exploits her emotionally trumping her resolves to actually talk out many outstanding issues which over time are just stagnating and rotting by judicious ‘I love you’ and ‘offence is stronger then defence’

Recently I advised her to stay away from N, a creepy colleague who’s favorite pastime is thinking up snide comments, backbiting, salacious innuendoes and the like. A features in the star position for some reason where his charm goes. She agreed so it was something of a shock to see N featuring on her facebook (yes facebook does play a significant role in our social lives pitiful as they might be’)

I was stupid enough to ask her the reason only to be told N had approached her husband when she kept refusing his friendship request and since hubby decreed he be added, he was

Lesson: friends or what I regard as friends are very different in this setup I find myself stuck in for sometime. My friend’s enemy cant be my friend is apparently out, mindless submission to the husband till you lose all sense of self are in!

The 2 cases I mention are just random pickups from the huge variety which govern this place I seem to be stuck in. loyalty, friendship, marriage, love, anything and everything seems to be defined beyond recognition here. Superficial courtesy hides derogatory behind-your-back remarks, friendships with the opposite gender are supposedly never platonic, wives are insecure and have confidence as strong as a willow in a breeze. I don’t fit, I will never fit, I don’t want to fit and yet fate/god in their wisdom and omnipotence see fit to block every attempt I make to get out …..